“Congress wants to cut spending at the same time they’re cutting revenue – kind of like trimming your toenails with a meat cleaver – blindfolded.”
“Having a heart to heart conversation with a Republican is a one-sided affair.”
“I read that Congress is considering cutting school lunch programs – the last time that happened to me, I wound up with a black eye and hungry.”
“If my daughter came home one day and said that she had a choice between marrying a Congressman and working in a brothel; I would have to know what the starting pay was before offering any meaningful advice.”
“A governor who has referred to police officers as ‘idiots’ might want to keep an eye on his state trooper security detail.”
“During the recent uproar over Health Care, it seemed to me that the people most against it were most in need of it.”
“The people who were the most responsible for the current deficit problems now want to punish those who had no responsibility at all for it.”
“The Speaker of the House is taking a lot of ribbing for public weeping. When the American people find out what the Republican agenda really is on deficit reduction; they are probably going to do of lot of private weeping.”
“A fellow at the feed store the other day referred to our Congressman as a ‘horse’s ass;’ he was promptly criticized for insulting horses.”
“It’s said that some politicians stand by their convictions; I think it would be better if they would serve time for them.”
“A fellow I know dreamed the other night that he had fallen in with a crowd of drunkards, thieves and ne’er do wells. Turned out he had been elected to Congress.”
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